Anything but Love
by Suki-Itami
Summary: -Slight AU- songfic to "SOS - Anything but Love" by Apocalyptica - feat. Cristina Scabbia.


Pink hair covered her face as she was knocked onto her back for what was the hundredth time in the past two days. She began to tremble and then curled into the fetal position on her right side, the only defense she's had for a long time. She heard the male figure standing over her growl something out at her and glanced at him through a small part in her hair.

The spiked silver hair, the one black eye, and the other red Sharingan eye. There was a time she loved to look at him, but now, even just looking at him terrified her. The fact that he still wore the mask over his mask just made it worse for her.

He growled out something else that she couldn't pick up before he stomped out of the room and locked the door behind him. She waited a moment before sitting up again, her long, long-sleeved black dress rustled as she did - the dress was completely made of lace, with ribbons spiraling down each arm. The only light in the room came from the open curtain at the barred window, and even then it wasn't much because the sun was setting.

With the last of the light, she lifted her left hand and looked at the Claddagh ring on her ring finger. Her wedding ring…something she once cherished, but now something she loathed. It was the only thing keeping her here, and Kakashi always reminded her of it.

…

_Bound to your side and_

_Trapped in silence_

…

There was never any love between them; she realized as she stood up to shut the black out curtains, he just wanted to show her off as a trophy. She was his possession, a younger girl that he'd managed to trick into loving him. She turned to the small twin sized bed that held only a thin mattress and a thin black blanket. White spots covered both the mattress and blanket, and she hated to think about why they were there.

Normally, he'd leave her alone in the small room, but today he'd wanted sex. She wasn't willing to give it to him and she ended up fighting him so that he couldn't rape her again. Unfortunately, it got her beat, which always happened when she went against anything he did or said. And lately, he seemed to be getting more and more obsessed with hitting or raping her…she hated being there, but she couldn't leave.

…

_Just a possession_

_Is the sex or only violence_

_That feeds your obsession_

…

She sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at what she could see of the dark yellow wall. This used to be the part where she would start crying, sobbing, and begging whatever god there was for a way out of that hell. But three years of it caused her to be numb to it, for the most part. The one thing she would never give him while he was like this, the one thing he wanted more than anything else, was a child.

Kakashi wanted a son desperately so that he could teach someone else how become a great shinobi. She'd actually been pregnant multiple times, but wouldn't tell him and intentionally anger him so that she'd miscarry. It was her way of hurting him without telling him for all of the pain and misery she'd been forced through since their wedding six weeks after her seventeenth birthday - her parents hadn't known until she announced that she was moving out. The worst mistake of her life.

…

_You send me to a broken state_

_Where I can take the pain_

_Just long enough_

_That I am numb_

…

Through the closed door, she could hear him open the front door and welcome her former teammates, Naruto and Sasuke, into **his** home. She would never consider that place a home, it was hard to even believe herself when she woke up in that same bed in the morning.

As always, they asked where she was, and, as always, he would tell them that she was already asleep. It was barely seven thirty, how could they believe that lie? But they did, they always did, and it was because they had never seen Kakashi for the monster that he could be. He was still their trusted sensei, instead of the monstrous husband that she knew him as.

Actually, she realized, she hadn't seen Naruto or Sasuke since the wedding. She knew why too: they would both notice immediately what was going on just from looking at her, and Kakashi was determined to not to let anyone find out. To everyone, her old personality was invisible; the Sakura Haruno everyone knew was gone, replaced by Sakura Hatake, the silent wife who didn't look like she could do any wrong.

…

_That I just disappear_

…

Silently, she took a long, deep breath. She needed out, and she had an idea to do so.

She stood up and walked over to the locked door. If it didn't work, she'd never hear the end of it. She'd be punished for over a month, she knew that much. But, in her mind, it was worth the risk.

Suddenly, she raised her fists and began banging on the door with more force than necessary. She could hear the conversation on the other side of the door go silent, and questions from both Naruto and Sasuke began to arise. She hit the door harder.

…

_So go on and fight me_

…

Kakashi made up some lie and was over at the door in a second. He calmly opened the door and pushed her further into the room before shutting the door again and smacked her across her face. When she glared at him, she noticed that his Konoha headband was back over his left eye, hiding the Sharingan.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He hissed at her.

The tone scared her, but not enough that she'd keep silent this time. "I'm tired of being in here!"

"Shut up, don't yell!"

"Make me!"

"You stupid bitch," he said through ground teeth. "You're more trouble than you're worth." He threw her onto the ground and hit her with his palm just below her throat.

The wind was knocked out of her and she was unable to breathe. She thought he'd done something so she'd suffocate, but a moment later, she was gasping for breath and gripping her throat where he'd hit her. He lifted back his other arm to make the same blow, but she scrambled to get away from him.

"I'm sorry," she said hoarsely and through a sob that escaped her aching throat. "It won't happen again."

"You're damn right, it won't. Remember, you deserved that. If you do it again, I'll do the same thing." Kakashi grabbed Sakura's arm and threw her onto the bed. "Now stay there, I'll be back for you later."

…

_Go on and scare me to death_

_Tell me I asked for it_

_Tell me I'll never forget_

…

As soon as he left the room, apologizing to Naruto and Sasuke for the interruption as he did, she curled into a ball and began sobbing.

…

_You could give me anything but love_

_Anything but love_

…

She laid there and cried for nearly an hour before she heard him show Naruto and Sasuke to the door with reassurances that she was okay. That it was just a random night fit. A minute later, the front door was closed and locked - she could've sworn she could hear the gears that locked the doors turning. Within a matter of seconds, the door of the room was opening and he stepped through the threshold.

His headband was off again, and his eyes narrowed as soon as they touched her trembling form. She looked at him directly, something she rarely did anymore, if at all, expecting the beating for her interruption earlier. Though she couldn't see it, she could somehow sense that he was smirking beneath his mask - she just knew it was how he would look - it was how he looked the first time he beat her, when he had his mask off for their honeymoon.

Kakashi walked towards her, leaving the door open, something he never did, and sat down behind her on the bed. Sakura stiffened; she was never comfortable with him behind her. But instead of hitting her, he sighed like he was exhausted and said, "I'm done."

"Huh?" She sat up and looked at the side of his face, trying to find something on his face that said he was kidding, but couldn't. "Done?"

"With you." He glanced back at her with the Sharingan. "I'm getting too tired to keep you under control."

She went rigid. What did this mean?

…

_Does it feel good tonight?_

_Hurt me with nothing_

_Some sort of sick satisfaction you_

_Get from mind fucking_

…

"I'm getting too tired to do this," he said, the smirk in his voice now. The Sharingan began to spin. "But not in this other world."

_She suddenly found herself surrounded but black, white, and red. The sky looked goopy, and moved like lava that matched the flat ground. Barbed wire flew out of the ground and wrapped itself around her wrists, ankles, and neck, pulling her to the ground on her back._

_He kneeled down next to her, ignoring the blood flowing from where the barbed wire was cutting into her skin. He lifted up the bottom of her dress and she tried to pull her legs together, but it just made the barbed wire cut into her more, so she had to stop._

"_No, not again," Sakura cried. "Please just let me go!"_

"_Afraid not." He pulled down her panties and began to rub her, going harder as she struggled and told him to stop._

_Finally, he stopped and stood up again as more barbed wire came out of the ground and wrapped around her body, ripping her clothes and cutting into her skin. She cried out in pain as she began bleeding more._

"_That's right, scream." Kakashi smirked. "This is why I tell you not to defy me. If you ever try anything like when Naruto and Sasuke were here again, you won't come out of this alive."_

…

_Oh…stripped down to my naked core_

_The darkest corners of my mind are yours_

_That's where you live, that's where you breathe_

…

Her eyes flew open and she gasped for breath. She was on her back on the bed, cold sweat running down the sides of her face. When she looked around for her husband, she found him gone; the door closed, and could hear someone knocking on the front door.

She just stared at the ceiling, shaking down to her very core. The worst part about being sent into that world was that he had sounded so calm about it all. She been being cut up by **barbed wire** and he didn't have any emotion about it. Hell, he'd been the one causing it.

"She's not here!" His voice resonated through the walls, yelling at someone obviously asking about her.

Sakura slowly stood up off of the bed and pressed her ear against the door so she could hear what the conversation was about. She heard the voice of the Hokage, Tsunade demanding to speak with her. Kakashi just continued to deny that she was there.

"I can sense her here, Kakashi," Tsunade said angrily. "Now stand back." Her footfalls were heavy as she made her way to the door.

Sakura turned and jumped onto the bed so she was sitting cross-legged in the middle of it. A moment later, the door opened - it wasn't locked, so he must've had to rush to the front door - and Tsunade stepped through with her hands on her hips. Kakashi didn't follow; he must've been knocked out.

"Where have you been?" Sakura raised an eyebrow at Tsunade's question. Was she angry?

"Here," she said hoarsely, her voice was still bad from the blow she'd taken to the neck not too long ago.

"In this house?" Tsunade still didn't sound too happy. "For the past two and a half years?"

Sakura shrugged. "I'm a housewife."

"Why are you just sitting here?"

"Thinking."

"Uh-huh…" Tsunade wasn't satisfied with the answer, that much was obvious, but she had no reason that she could tell to contest it. "Whatever. Stop by my office sometime, it's surprisingly dull without you around."

Sakura smiled. "Will do."

With that, Tsunade turned and left the house. Kakashi ran into the room with a wild, angry look on his face. "What was that?"

"I have no idea!" She yelled back as she shook her head.

He stepped forward and slapped her across the face. "You can't yell at me."

"Fuck you!" She yelled, not thinking. The moment the last syllable left her mouth, she covered her mouth with her eyes wide as dinner plates. She knew that this was going to get her beaten for a while, even when they were sensei and student, he would freak out if someone would curse at him.

…

_So go on and fight me_

_Go on and scare me to death_

…

But instead of lashing out like he normally would, he ground his teeth and said, "You think that you can talk to me like that now?" He stepped back and pointed to the front door. "If so, just leave."

"W-What?" Her mouth dropped. What this for real?

"Leave. Or try to."

She jumped up and moved towards the door without even glancing at the furniture she hadn't seen in nearly two months - she only ever went out of the house recently so he could keep up appearances. When she reached the door, Kakashi laughed maniacally and said, "You'll never forget this, so how could you possibly lead a normal life remembering this?"

She froze when he said that. He was right…there was no way she could ever forget about her marriage to her sensei. Her abusive, possessive sensei that only kept her around as a trophy. She wanted to leave, so why, at the mention of her having to live with the memories, did she hesitate?

…

_Dare me to leave you_

_Tell me I'd never forget_

…

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "You know as well as I do that you can't leave. That if you did, you'll come right back here," he purred lovingly into her ear.

She relaxed back against his chest and held onto his arms. In the back of her mind, she knew that the love was just a ruse so that she wouldn't leave, but right now, the bit of love she was feeling off of him was enough to make her want to believe that nothing had happened. That everything that had happened since their marriage began was just a screwed up nightmare.

"You're not going to leave."

"No."

He swept her into his arms bridal style and carried her back to the room, where he dropped her onto the bed and then turned to the door again. "I knew it."

"Kakashi-Sensei, do you–"

"I told you before; you can't call me 'sensei.'"

"But I thought–"

"I also told you that you were not allowed to think."

"Don't you **love** me at all?" She demanded. Sakura had hoped that after he'd managed to get her to stay, he'd admit that even some part of him loved her.

"Love?" He shook his head and sighed. "I'm too tired to deal with this now." He pulled out his erotica novel and continued with it as he shut and locked the door.

Her shoulders slumped and she just stared at the door. Why didn't she just leave? She could've had someone erase her memory of all of what happened, but instead she fell for his trick and was trapped again.

…

_You could give me anything but love_

_Anything but love_

…

She fell onto back and stared blankly at the ceiling as she felt all of her hope fading away. She knew that she would never leave, and just had accepted that…but that didn't mean that she had to do what he said.

…

_Without any faith_

_Without any light_

…

She continued staring at the ceiling as her eyes glazed over. She was numb now, and she found that she was no longer aware of anything. Not the hunger she felt a moment ago, nor the pain, nor the thirst, nor the betrayal. It was over.

…

_Can dare me to live_

_I'm living a lie_

_Inside I am dead_

…

The following morning, Kakashi entered the room and found her still staring at the ceiling, numb to the world. He shook her, lightly at first, but then rougher. He could tell she was alive, and it was pissing him off that she wasn't responding to him.

He grabbed her arm and yanked her off the bed, nearly sending her falling to her knees. He managed to keep her on her feet, though, and turned her to face him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He smacked her across her face to try to bring her back to reality, but it only caused her to stumble and nearly fall.

…

_So go on and fight me_

…

He grabbed both of her shoulders roughly and shoved her back onto the bed. He was going to rape her; it always made her acknowledge him, even if she was trying to fight it.

…

_Go on and scare me to death_

_I'll be the victim_

…

Not even twenty minutes later, he was finished with her. He stood up, leaving her naked body lying on the bed motionlessly. She hadn't said a thing or moved to struggle at all while he was raping her.

_That made it boring. _He sighed. "Get the hell up! We have to go meet some people at the training grounds soon. You'll be excited to them: Naruto and Sasuke."

…

_You'll be the voice in my head_

…

Normally, Sakura would be ecstatic at the chance to see her old teammates, but now she didn't respond. How could she be when had died inside.

He sighed angrily and grabbed a kunai. "Wake up now! I'll just have to kill you if you don't get up! You know I can make it look like a suicide!"

…

_You could give me anything but love_

…

She didn't respond, not even by moving her eyes; they were still trained on the ceiling. Seeing this, Kakashi raised the kunai into the air above her chest.

…

_Anything but love_

…

Her eyes moved to the kunai as it came flying towards her torso, and she closed her eyes so that she didn't have to see it.

…

_Anything but love_

…

The kunai knife plunged into her chest, right next to her heart, and he drug it down to her stomach - she was dead right after the kunai went through her chest. He then wrapped her hand around the hilt of the knife in some strange attempt to make the killing look like a suicide.

He then left the room calmly to go wash his clothes and grab a bite to eat. About that time, he began thinking that he should start looking for a new potential bride.

…

_Anything but love…_

…

A/N: Yes, I know it was a little odd, but I was watching _-Bleep- My Dad Says_ while I was writing this, so I wasn't paying too much attention. (That sounds bad, but I swear, it's not as bad as it sounds.)


End file.
